This is a recent discussion with Laurette DeJulian and a seeker that was frustrated with their inability to forgive others
I am so honored that you have chosen to speak to me about your spiritual journey. I look forward to learning from what you have to share!
My only concern is – does this method meet the need of everyone, or only of those who have already traveled a long distance on the road of spirituality and letting go of desires, and hence hurt, hence anger. I believe people are arranged over many types, variously endowed, some ahead of the pack, some lagging a bit.
Yes, everyone goes to the level that they desire to attain. There is nothing wrong with this. The only complication is when a person desires peace, fulfillment, and joy in their life. We can only have enough joy as we are willing to have. Unfortunately, while we are experiencing hate, we cannot experience joy.
I will talk about myself. I tried for a while the path of Advaita, of controlling my desires, of seeking out the inner truth in me, in others in the universe as I could sense it. I failed. Failed as in continuously keeping up the practice, the sharpness of discrimination, of seeing the ego, the world, the objects of desire in their true light. I decided that at least now I am unable to maintain the high unrelenting standard and stay focused.
Please tell me about this high unrelenting standard. Whom or what do you set this standard from? Do these standards pertain to cultural standards? Familiar standards? Religious standards? Personal standards?
I reconciled myself to a more modest objective. I try not to harm people, I would love to help as many as I can. I can take a big amount of insult, injustice, even cruelty dumped on me. I can forgive those who do it, even to the point of not ever wishing them to get punished by god/ nature/ law of karma. But I do avoid further contact with them, because even when I forgive them, it is after I have got hurt, I have not acquired the ability of not getting hurt, but have some capacity to absorb mental pain.
How are you able to forgive them? What is forgiveness?
A wild tiger is beautiful to observe. They too are God’s creation. However, they can hurt me. I do not try to pet a wild tiger. I do not jump the fence at the zoo. I have come to learn my limitations as a human being. I realize that tiger’s do what feels natural to them. I cannot blame them for what they do. They believe they are wild tigers. They do what wild tigers do. So, I choose to observe a wild tiger from afar to keep myself safe and keep the tiger safe because if the tiger attacks me, society will demand the tiger be destroyed. Knowing and trusting my own limitations and appreciating a tiger’s limitations is part of discernment. It requires no statement about me nor the tiger.
However, I can’t forget or forgive those who harm my loved ones; those who exploit the weak; those who repress, brutalize or defraud people. I would go this far – I do hate them. I would certainly like to oppose them to the best of my ability. I cannot make myself wish them the best.I would still want to improve, and make myself physically and mentally useful to people who need help.This birth at least Laurette, I cannot do what your work advises. I do not want to do it, may be.
Beautiful. You have enough awareness to know you have a choice. It is not that you cannot do it. It is that you will not do it. Which is fine. It is interesting though; you can do it for yourself but not others. So, you are not only the master of your own destiny of how you feel, you also take on the responsibility for feeling feelings for others. I suppose you have come to know God or your higher spiritual nature through doing what you are doing. Becoming aware of your own nature and creating a world that you desire for yourself.
I find it curious that you have extended your boundaries to also become in charge of other’s people’s spiritual challenges as well. So, when we rush in and “protect” people from others, what happens to their faith, their belief in themselves and their connection to their higher power? Do we become their hero, their God and substitute higher power so that they will never explore the journey for themselves? Where does God come into the equation? Is not seeing our situation differently from another is a form of specialness and separation from God himself?
Please do not misunderstand the questions. I minister to the homeless in my neighborhood. In the US, our conditions are different culturally than the ancient systems of different countries. But these countries are changing. There is an emerging middle class. There are those that have emerged from meager beginnings to go on to remember that their creative power and their ability to change their situation rests within the God within them. Certainly, if they had never had the opportunity to explore their abilities and they relied on others to save them, they would have never emerged. When we have to defend others, is not that not robbing them of their own spiritual evolution? We must allow people to have the growth that they will experience through suffering. You and I have grown have we not? Have we not suffered?
I realize that my thought-process might be consuming my energy without any welcome outcome; but I can’t help it.
Everyone is on their own unique path to experience peace and to have a relationship with God. Your journey and the place that you are currently at is a very sacred and blessed place. One of courage, frankness, vulnerability and authenticity. Is not that in itself the presence of God? I believe it is.
Peace is an aspect of Source that you bring with you. You are a human being and must breath to sustain physical life. Likewise, Source requires peace to survive. Think of peace as part of Source’s respiration. Source is love, its inspiration and expirations are comprised of peace. Wherever there is an absence of peace in your life, you do not support Source. If you reflect upon these areas of your life, they are the areas of non-creation. Source by its very nature is a creator. Creation requires a peace sustaining environment. It has been Our observation that fear, and peace can not room together. So, any area of your life that is in a state of conflict, anger, deceit, unforgiveness or jealousy takes you out of the creative work force. Do not deceive yourself believing that your crafted plans for retribution, self-defense, blame or revenge have made the Universe’s registry for commendation. The Universe does not see what Source does not create. Remember if you are engaged in any of these emotions, you are not creating.
Believe this, peace has been the truth that mankind has been most reluctant to accept. For the ego would rather room with fear as it can never room with peace. Here is Our guidance. Make the world that you believe a world of peace. You are creating your world. You are writing this movie. Your life did not happen to you. You are creating it each moment. Make peace your highest priority. It must be present to support creation (very life itself). Believe that you exist in a safe world. A world that supports your creation. For you, my Beloved. are the creator here to engage in just that- creation. Connect with others in the emanation of peace. Peace, given the chance, is more contagious than war. You are peace and no one can take your peace from you. In your experiences those who offend you may take your goods, may harm your physical body, but no one can take your peace unless you surrender it to them.