What Can I GET From This Relationship?

We Love People For What They Can Give Us

As time goes on, clarity is gained.  We begin to realize that we are the source of all of our suffering. When we suffer, we cannot accept the way things are.  We cannot find acceptance because we have forgotten our ability to create.

We agonize in relationships, drawing battle lines and secretly harboring resentments because we want and expect someone to behave differently. When they do not treat us the way we expect, we immediately find them guilty and attack them with our thoughts and words.  When we do not know how to honor ourselves as God, we look to someone else to honor us, worship us and validate our worthiness.  This is when the first step to insanity begins. When we look to any other source other than our higher power to validate us, we will always suffer.

As we go deeper into making a relationship what we want it to be, we begin to manipulate the situation and demand changes be made.  Who are those changes for?  If an individual wants to change, they will. We expect others to change for us because if they love us, they will give us what we want.  We must be honest. We are in relationships to get.  There is no realization that we already have or that we alone can create what we need.  So, we drive forward, hammering away until we completely destroy any love or sacredness in the relationship. Somebody must be wrong. If we must have secret conversations with others about the people in our lives, where has our intimacy with our partners gone?

We Must Accept People Not Change Them

In all relationships, there is a call to sacredness.  We honor each other as part of God.  We get in to trouble when we say, “I will love and accept this one, but under these conditions.” We want to be god in our own private needy universe.  When we honor ourselves as God, we have no difficulty honoring others as part of God, regardless on how they chosen to live their lives. After all, its not up to us to decide for others.  It is up to us to live in a fashion that honors our creativity and faith- a testament to our dedication to the one relationship. We abandon our needs and expectations of others.  We focus solely on our own presence as the Creator of our experience.

And when the memory of God has come to you in the holy place of forgiveness you will remember nothing else, and memory will be as useless as learning, for your only purpose will be creating. Yet this you cannot know until every perception has been cleansed and purified, and finally removed forever. Forgiveness removes only the untrue, lifting the shadows from the world and carrying it, safe and sure within its gentleness, to the bright world of new and clean perception. There is your purpose now. And it is there that peace awaits you.

A Course in Miracles




Spiritual Surrender: Learning The Art of Letting Go

How Can We be “Spiritual” and Live Our Everyday Lives?

Living in the world while waking up – What does that mean? For many of us, it means Spiritual Surrender or surrendering to a current situation. How can we be in a world that responds, reacts, and listens to a message that is not loving and still be in touch with who we are? The most common question I receive is, “How do I go to work every day or live in my relationships and still consider myself a ‘spiritual’ person?” This question epitomizes our preoccupation with living up to a standard and fitting in, the first concepts that undermine the very essence of our spiritual core – our relationship with God. When we are actively searching for a deeper awareness of ourselves, who we are, and how we move among others in the world, it does not begin with other peoples’ rules or opinions of us. Our divinity begins and ends with only one relationship, and that hinges off our direct connection to God. We cannot find our godliness in other people’s opinions. We find ourselves in the understanding of the holiness of who we already are.

What God created, one must recognize its oneness, and rejoice that what illusions seemed to separate is one forever in the Mind of God. 

~ The Song of Prayer, A Course in Miracles

Spiritual Surrender Is Not About Getting Rid of Something

Most of us try to overcome and eliminate parts of ourselves that we judge as “bad.” We take that belief a little further by then trying to decide for others and remove others that we deem as “evil, less than or undesirable.” The difficulty begins when we think that our minds and our reasoning substantiate our judgments. We incorrectly believe we “know.” We are treading dangerous waters when we think we know how other’s should live their lives when we cannot seem to be living the life we admire. Our nagging sense of unworthiness haunts us, and we cannot see beyond this fictitious veil we peer through. The first step in our deep engagement with God is not getting rid of something. We uncover our pathway to God by allowing, accepting, and surrendering to what is.

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, and our lives had become unmanageable.

~ Alcohol Anonymous

Surrendering Is The Answer

Surrender is the most hardened substance for the ego to choke down. Letting go requires openess, vulnerability, authenticity and honesty. It is going with the flow regardless of what is going on and regardless of what people are saying. Just the thought of this state makes each of us begin to twitch.

You see, we are all addicts. Try to find one person that is not addicted to something or, at the very least addicted to control. We are all scared to death of losing control. We hate to feel and process our feelings. We lay awake at night, fearful, worried, and feeling we might miss something. Fear is a barricade to the experience of Peace. It is a fence that we build around ourselves that says, “I am afraid I might lose something.” When we are open to Love’s presence, there is little focus on- the Self, which is already complete, whole, and in no need of anything.  How can we lose what is always there, that which is still present and pulsing? The Self cannot be undone.

Surrender to Our Imperfections

There is no diminished or more significant form of us. The soul remains in a perfect radiant state. Think about the Truths in our world – the sun, breathing, weather, and even death of the physical. No one cares to argue whether these states exist. They may complain about them, but there is no argument for their existence. There are no arguments for who we are. We exist in the infinite, and it is Love. No matter how we try to camouflage it or try to argue this point, we need to allow the experience of knowing that in the real world of the eternal, what is so can never be not so. God loves us and enables us to be as we are. He never forgets even when we do.

Spiritual Surrender to Where We Are

Therefore, the first step forward to walking in our beauty begins with allowing. Can we acknowledge the fact that we struggle with honesty, jealousy, self-esteem, or any shortcoming we seem to obsess over? Instead of living up to a standard or the person we think we “should” be, perhaps our first step in discovering God is to begin to accept the humanness of our daily existence. Our task is not to strive for pureness or advanced development. Our mission remains living with God now in the place we currently allow and accept.








Forgetting the Past Reveals Present Love

Who creates the suffering in our lives? When we choose to walk in pain, we know discouragement and suffering will follow. There are no short cuts to circumvent our pain; we must look it in the eye and ask, “what is this pain good for?”As simple as that may seem, very few of us will ever do that very thing. Most of us would prefer a more dramatic and self-destructive path. We are continuously identifying with our pain bodies. We get caught up in the heightened awareness and arousal that our suffering brings us. The more unbelievable and seemingly catastrophic our story, the more justified we feel in our pain. “Poor us!” we say, hoping maybe someone will step in and clean up the byproducts of our self-sabotaging behavior.

 Driving forward but looking backward

“All your past except its beauty is gone… and nothing is left but a blessing.” – A Course In Miracles

We seek our past to define who we are. We take in all the opinions and experiences into a roadmap of our fate. Who we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely just a thought. When we have ideas of self-pity, unworthiness, or victimhood, we see ourselves lacking something. We no longer measure up to the rest of society. A Course in Miracles refers to this breaking off from the whole as “separation.” As we continue to see ourselves as less than, the divide between us and our connection to God becomes vast. We build a story to substantiate our brokenness because of something that happened to us. When we refuse to let go of the past, we drag what happened yesterday into the future. We continue to experience more of the same old misery in the present.

Things are not done to you; they are done for you.

“Every situation properly perceived becomes an opportunity to heal.” – A Course In Miracles

Sometimes our story remains emotionally charged. Telling the story over and over may take some of the sting out of it. Retelling our story, however, can become very tricky. We begin identifying with our story. We become the things that have happened to us instead of being who we are. We label ourselves as “a child of,” “a survivor,” or “a victim.” These labels supplant our identity, and we soon find ourselves acting out a scripted role instead of expanding beyond all definitions. When we take on a label, we immediately begin limiting our unlimited potential.

However, if we took two individuals into an empty room with nothing more than a pencil, and asked them to describe themselves, what would a “victim” mentality create as opposed to a “creator” mentality? Would the creator outline a beautiful design for their life? At the same time, would the victim eventually destroy themselves with their own criticism? What does it take to move from victimhood to empowerment? How can one show up to live in the freshness of the present moment of unlimited potential while dragging the old dark perspective from the past? What would be required to flip the switch from creating the same old heartbreak to creating a vibrant present?

 You CREATE every moment through your thoughts

“What you see reflects your thinking, and your thinking but reflects the choice of what you want to see.” – A Course In Miracles

Very frequently, we find ourselves in discussion circles explaining or justifying our behavior because of our past as though it exists as an unchangeable sentence. We never focus on our untapped creative powers to produce a new outcome. We do a tremendous injustice to ourselves by perpetuating the story of our suffering. We put our energy into strengthening it by saying, “poor us.”

The apex of universal pain can be surmounted by jointly placing our belief and power into the ability to create a different outcome. We become very self-aware of our words and our actions because most people are not interested in breaking from their past. People use the past to justify their habits, their judgments, their lack of forgiveness, and their choice not to be supported instead of empowered.

Blame and judgment will always cause pain. There remains an enormous amount of energy dedicated to being right rather than being happy in the world. Many of us choose to place our trust in our suffering rather than placing our creative energy into healing.

Real power is focusing on what you want not on what you don’t want

“It’s not up to you what you learn, but only whether you learn through joy or through pain.” – A Course In Miracles

Therefore, when we want to change, we must focus all our creative energy into what we do want to create. There remains no value associated with tapping into the past to predict our future. Our new life begins now. By accepting the responsibility for our destiny and owning what we have created remains crucial to our understanding of who we are. Knowing this, we must be honest with ourselves and those around us. Do we truly desire to change? Do we want to become empowered and to work at our happiness? In contrast, are we trying to maintain our habits and addictive behavior, expecting a different outcome?

When we default to others to save us and to join us in our identification with our pain body, we become our own victimizer. The responsibility begins with us and ends with us no matter how much we choose to blame everyone else. Who will rule the day, the victim, or the creator?

“Mental health is inner peace.” – A Course In Miracles


Healing Crisis: What Are They Good For?

healing crisis


Healing Crisis: What Are They Good For?

Ah yes, the healing crisis.

I am going to preface this piece with the following. This discussion of healing will fascinate some, outrage others and totally confuse the rest. A big component of spiritual healing involves physical healing. They are inseparable. Chances are if we are physically ill, there is an emotional or spiritual component to that illness. Perhaps an illness comes into our life that forces us to reevaluate our lifestyle, relationships and how we function in the world.

However, I do want to say, that illness always remains a teacher. Many saints, gurus and devout spiritual teachers have suffered with illness. Padre Pio, Hildegard Von Bingen, Teresa of Avila, and Ramana Maharshi, all endured ailments and afflictions. Eastern medicine practitioners have ascribed to this philosophy. Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine finds its roots in Eastern spirituality and was at one time only administered by Daoist priests and monks.

According to the Eastern philosophy of healing, there are three levels of healing – the blood level, the organ level and the bone level. In my discussion with acupuncturists, they have expressed that they find themselves often avoiding the deepest level of healing because of the side effects. In our Western culture, we do not want to go through the deeper stages of healing. We want a pill or a treatment to make us feel good. Knowing that everything is energy, acupuncturists know there will be major releases associated with a deep healing that most of us are not equipped to tolerate nor do we have the courage to do the inner work that would be required.

What Is A Healing Crisis?

When I do a medical intuitive reading, I look at the mental, emotional, and spiritual fields of an individual. These planes are respectively deeper than the physical plane, with the spiritual plane being the deepest. A disease will progress through each plane, evolving from a minor physical complaint to more serious ones, and then inward to deeper levels. Performing like a screw, as we continue to foster thoughts that contain chaotic frequencies, the energy drives deeper into the body.

My practice consists of doctor referrals for patients that are unresponsive to vibrational medicine. My task remains to help the patient realize that they are the source of their discomfort by continuing to produce misaligned thoughts. When I initially start working with a client, we begin to poke around in the places that most people do not want to look. This technique combined with flower essences, often produces a healing crisis that the client sees as a negative experience. What is happening is that they are releasing all of that confused energy that has been stored in their bodies. Very similar to a pressure cooker letting off steam, the energy that was once directed inward reverses direction and starts to flow outward. In accounts of spiritual awakening experiences, individuals will give testimonials of feeling their energy pouring outwards and then upwards.

In addition to these perspectives on healing, A Course in Miracles encourages us to look at our illusions or misaligned perspectives because they are the root of all illness, suffering, pain and eventual death. The course reminds us to remember that we are perfect as God created us. It is us that sees the imperfection and creates the distortion in our lives. The course also reminds us that we have the power to heal ourselves. It is often helpful to think of this analogy. Would you send a child into the wilderness without anything to help prepare themselves for the unknown? If we believe in a divine essence and the perfection of its creations, why would this same principle apply to our bodies?

What Does A Healing Crisis Mean?

Through my own spiritual journey, I have experienced a list of maladies that have appeared out of nowhere and then disappeared. From eyes oozing puss, to bleeding on my hands and feet, to frozen shoulders, and non-specific pain in my body, I too have seen the products of my ruminations. It is a common cultural viewpoint that we understand feelings, such as depression and anger, come as reactions to life events. It is not as common, however, to understand that physical ailments, too, create revealing patterns. Each of us is unique, like a puzzle that only we have the solution for. We find our freedom and liberation from walking towards our deepest fears, embracing them and eventually loving them.

As we approach our healing, it would be helpful to remember that things do not heal people. People heal people through the love and acceptance that they share. We heal ourselves through sharing and as we share, we receive. This is the purpose of existence; we remember that the healing flow of the divine begins with us and ends with us. As such, if we aligned our emotions, thoughts and spiritual beliefs with the love of divine intent, we could provide a much more peaceful, healthful life experience. Healing crises do not necessarily denote something bad or scary. They just indicate misappropriated energy. I do want to reiterate that having an illness or disease does not symbolize weakness, defectiveness or some sort of punishment. Our illness and dis-eases are a spiritual process given to us to unravel. If we ascribe to the belief, we are eternal and in each iteration of our being we take on a new experience, sickness will be a chapter that we will all face. Some of us will heal ourselves, others will spend our lives learning from our illness.

We All Have Our Unique Healing Process

Recently I had a deeply emotional and spiritual discussion with a dear friend. The discussion might have appeared uncomfortable and difficult to an outside observer. However, the love and forgiveness that emanated from that partnering kicked off a major healing crisis for me. After the discussion, I received a transmission that is difficult to put into words, but I will attempt to do so. The Voice explained that all the discomfort that I was feeling was the release of all the worry, angst and sadness that I had produced. I became aware of how powerful our illusionary thoughts can be. The Voice then said, “place everything you do on an altar to God. Give everything to the One”. I interpreted that to mean that before I react, act or withdraw from a situation, I would be best served by viewing it as something that I would offer to the divine. See everything as the divine would see it and prepare everything with divine intent.

It is a common cultural viewpoint that we understand feelings, such as depression and anger, come as reactions to life events. It is not as common, however, to understand that physical ailments, too, create revealing patterns. Each of us is unique, like a puzzle that only we have the solution for. We find our freedom and liberation from walking towards our deepest fears, embracing them and eventually loving them.

As we approach our healing, it would be helpful to remember that things do not heal people. People heal people through the love and acceptance that they share. We heal ourselves through sharing and as we share, we receive. This is the purpose of existence; we remember that the healing flow of the divine begins with us and ends with us. As such, if we aligned our emotions, thoughts and spiritual beliefs with the love of divine intent, we could provide a much more peaceful, healthful life experience.