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I Thought Drugs Could Bring Me Closer to God….

“Is this Lauri?”, the young voice asked. “Yes, it’s me,” I reassuringly replied. “Um, cool. I heard you are clairvoyant and you talk to angels and stuff. I was hoping you could help me.” “Okay,” I said. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself.” “Well, I got your name from a guy in my recovery group. I have been sober for three months. I was experimenting with psychedelics, and I took six hits of LSD at once. I broke my mind. They say I have psychosis.” Then he began to cry. I waited for a moment, and I then asked, “What are you looking for?” “Could you talk to my Higher Self for me and ask it what my purpose is? I watch a lot of videos on the internet, and I get a lot of stuff like about the dark energies that are attacking the earth right now and stuff. But I am stuck.” I sat there quietly for a second and then asked the question I ask everyone, “Tell me about your relationship to source.” He chuckled and got serious and then said, “I don’t have one.”

I then went on to explain the experience that he had opened himself up to through his drug use. I pointed out that he had a vast and complex spiritual experience that he did not have the foundational spiritual maturity to integrate. The download was far beyond the capacity of what his human mind could comprehend and therefore, he fractured his psyche. When we use drugs to find god, we cannot maintain this connection. We put our body, our minds and our lives at risk. It is very similar to seeking the light, then finding a possible connection and instead of putting in a light bulb, we stick our wet finger into the socket. I told him he would recover and not to worry. However, I pointed out a very critical point to him; there are no shortcuts to God. You cannot get it from a book, a person or a magic pill. You must allow yourself to have the experience; however, that experience is given to you by source in a fashion that you can integrate. I frequently hear about people that compete based on their spirituality. They think that someone is more advanced, that they are not working hard enough, or they are not doing the right things. What they don’t realize is that we cannot compare our spiritual development or journey with anyone else. Each of us has a unique relationship with spirit, and each of us has our divine calling.

My conversation with this young man went on for quite a while. I was amazed at his ability to parrot and rattle off some very complicated spiritual tenets. I asked him where he had received his information and he said, “YouTube.” I then said, “If you want to know your Higher Self and come to know the source on a deeper level, you must open your heart. Nobody can do that for you. It is you alone that must have the experience. Spirituality is about a connection to yourself and other people. So, if you want to deepen your practice, open your heart.” “How do I do that,” he asked. “Well, what type of things make you close your heart?”, I said. “All sorts of stuff,” he chuckled. “And what do you think may help you to open it?”, I said. “um, letting it go,” he said softly. “Yes, let it go. What do we call that?”, I gently asked. He took a deep sigh and then said emotionally, “forgiveness.” “Yes, forgiveness.” I agreed.

We then went on to have a very brilliant dialogue. He had softened and mellowed. His defenses had melted away. We talked about how enlightenment meant being available to profoundly connect with people. To put aside differences to find the commonality and compassion for each other. We discussed how if people have difficulty relating to themselves on an intimate basis, they will surely have problems engaging with others. How can we know the source if we cannot interconnect with the people in our lives? There are no magic pills. There are no shortcuts. There are no magical techniques that someone else can do to us to give us what we are so desperately seeking. All of us are longing for connection – connection to ourselves, to each other and to the Universe that we are a part of. The remedy remains very simple. If we genuinely desire happiness and peace, we must see ourselves in everything and everyone around us. We will have to do some personal excavation work as we remove our blocks to the love within us. For most of us that will take practice. That is why we call it a “spiritual practice.” If we want the answers, there is only one way to get them. We need to quiet our minds to begin a dialogue with the Universe within us and listen. It will always be our choice to follow.

“Can I call you again sometime?” he timidly requested. “Of, course. You have taught me a lot,” I exclaimed. “I love you,” he uttered as he began to cry. “I am very honored to have met you. I love you too,” I quietly said. “Now the trick is to fall in love with yourself. Think about what you could offer the world if you were having a love affair with yourself.”

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